omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
