Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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