I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Randomize
