i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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