I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Acid is not a monday night drug
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
