there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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