I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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