no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Randomize
