I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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