so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
