I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
