oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
