I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
