ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Found the puke drawer
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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