ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
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