Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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