I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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