Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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