I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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