i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
