I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
