i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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