Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
