all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
