U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
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