im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
