You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Randomize
