this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Randomize
