awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
