i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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