wat bout pragnant strippers??
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
