I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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