great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Just invented taco cereal.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
