come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
