Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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