that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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