Can Purell be used as lube?
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
