I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
