i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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