i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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