Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
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