Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize
