Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
