u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
