Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
