My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
We don't watch enough power rangers
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
