Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
