And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
