I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
