if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
