garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize