Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
