There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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