I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
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