Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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