What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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