dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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