Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
