i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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